Being hit on by an air flight attendant can make for a very awkward flight experience

Last week, my BFF in the entire universe came home from her mission in Argentina. Amanda Pavlovsky. (Oh, p.s. Alyssa, we ran into your mom at stake conference, she is lovely. oh and i love both wichita and mcpherson, kansas. great places.) We were roommates, majored and minored and were involved in all the same things in college and LOVED it.

She graduated and then four months later I graduated. I went on a mission and then four months later she went on a mission. After almost 24 months of separation, I was able to spend the past four days in Kansas just talking, talking, talking, laughing until my sides hurt and remembering how wonderful it is to have a very best friend. I am so, so, so, so, so glad Amanda is home.

I flew into Wichita, Kansas late Friday night. Due to lots and lots of rain my flight was delayed from its original 7:55 p.m. departure time to 9:30 p.m. It had been a long day that had started at 5:30 a.m. and the whirlwind of projects and deadlines at work, combined with the insanity of the Chicago O'Hare airport left me exhausted. Right before I boarded the plane I looked in the mirror. My hair was in a bun, I looked beat and I decided that with my black gauchos and gray sweater I resembled an elementary school teacher. Or if I had Japanese designer Kazuo Kawasaki glasses, Sarah Palin with dark circles and bags under her eyes.

Stepping on the plane, I noticed an attractive flight attendant. Male. My first thought, "Gay." We made eye contact. He gave me "the look." And then he gave me "the smile." You know exactly what I mean ladies. I smiled a very polite, tight lipped, quick smile back and looked away. For sure not gay.

My seat was all the way in the back. 20A. I remember it well. As Mr. Flight Attendant passed by he brushed my arm ever so slightly. At first I thought I imagined it. And then it happened again. Along with this, "Hey, I'm glad your sitting here." And a wink.

Excuse me? First of all....no! Unacceptable and soo unprofessional.

I settled down to read the Newsweek feature cover story, "Palintology" and People. And tried to forget about Mr. FA.

Well, all too soon it was time for drinks. I asked for a diet coke and water. I accidentally spilled some of the water and so naturally asked for a napkin. I reached up to grab it from him. And right as I did he was reaching down to sop up the water, and my hand accidentally slipped into his. I was horrified!

Mr. FA, with a twinkle in his eye and not quietly at all, said, "You're trying to hold my hand." No idiot I'm not. I was trying to grab the dumb napkin to clean up the water spill. Duh.

But of course, instead of saying that I was speechless due to embarassement and sleep deprevation. Everyone on the plane heard. The old woman next to me looked over and smiled that grandmotherly smile. Mixture of be careful and you are just too cute, being so smitten by the FA. I couldn't believe it. And then Mr. FA starts talking with his FA buddy friend extra loud and says, "You know I'm just tired of dating typical skanky girls. I want a good girl. A kindergarten teacher type."

I almost wrote him the following letter:

Dear Mr. Flight Attendant, Yes, you are very attractive. But, no I will not be participating in a midnight rendezvous with you upon landing in Wichita, KS. I am travelling to spend time with my BF Amanda. And I don't do long distance or NKMOs.

Good luck in all your endeavors,

Angelica

I'm not going to lie. I'm just grateful I didn't meet him a few months ago on my flight to Vegas.